I am not the target audience for a solar eclipse. I mean, I imagine they're cool and all, and hooray for once-in-a-lifetime experiences, but in no version of reality am I loading up a camper and hoofing it over to Oregon so I can battle people who are far better suited for post-apocalyptic survival than I am for gas and water. I mean, I'm pretty sure Bachelor In Paradise is going to be amazing tomorrow night. Priorities.

But here's the thing that's been freaking me out the past couple of days: I am not a fundamentally ignorant human with zero knowledge of astronomical events and their potential repercussions....and yet I can totally imagine myself forgetting about this whole "solar eclipse" thing - because while it's technically a big deal, I guess, it's not an especially big deal to me, for whatever reason - and meandering down the street around 10AM tomorrow morning, then noticing that it's getting dark and cloudy and going "Hm, that's odd!"...and then looking up to see what's going on, and whoopsie: now I'm blind.

This sounds un-fun, to say the least.

This is what my computer screen looks like at the moment. (To be specific, this is what it looks like in a good moment - the enormous vertical black line is occasionally replaced with a blinking series of skinnier rainbow lines, plus the occasional screen flicker and a thankfully-more-occasional-but-fucking-terrifying-regardless melt-effect, during which all of the letters on the screen actually fall down on the screen.)

So I'm going to need a little extra time to get today's blog post up, because I need to go panic at the Apple store for a couple of hours, or possibly weeks.

In the meantime, let me leave you with the below evidence that truly next-level photobombing skills can, in fact, be something a person is capable of displaying at the ripe old age of three.

Yeah, I want a pet dragon too.

OK, so at the Renaissance Faire last weekend I decided to switch up my usual floaty look and dress up like a pirate, instead: my son's sword, Kendrick's vest, a big feather thing that's meant to be used in a smudging ceremony, and my awesome J.Crew pants that Kendrick thinks aren't especially awesome because they make me look like a potato. (He is wrong; the potato part is the awesomest part.) What I wore to the Ren Faire has nothing to do with pet dragons, of course - I'm just mentioning my outfit because I was super into it and think that "pirate" is my fair look going forward, and figured you should probably be aware of this.

Moving on: please look at what I found being sold at a stand called Wyverns Of Whimsy.

The first day of school is now 6 days away. Which means we have exactly 6 days left to do ALL THE SUMMER THINGS.

(Mini golf, check.)

I love the fall - perhaps slightly so less out here in California, where fall isn’t all gorgeous foliage and strolls through quaint villages, and is rather “that time when I can’t use the pool anymore” - but this summer has been especially epic, and I’m going to be bummed to see it go. It’s not just the change in weather that’ll be a shift for me, though: my daughter is going into preschool, and my son is going into kindergarten, and so from 9AM to 2PM every day it’ll just be…me.