This is not my torso. It is my friend Francesca’s. You may have already suspected this for the following reasons:
1. The presence of a tendril of long brown hair, as opposed to a tuft of seriously-in-need-of-some-cut-and-color blondish bob;
2. Non-horrifying nails that extend beyond the tip of the finger, are not possessed of a series of chips so extreme that they venture into avant garde territory, and that have visibly made contact with a nail file sometime in the past week;