Latest Posts

Before & After Renovations

In Which We Reach The Limit Of My Abilities

I've gotten pretty handy over the years, mostly thanks to the presence in my life of a few Superwomen who have taught me how to do things like lay tile, resurface brick, and even demolish concrete (not the best idea for the old neck muscles, but surprisingly fun). And lord, do I wish those women lived near me still, because the house that I'm currently renting has alllllllll the project opportunities (yes, I fix up houses that I rent - you can read my rationale here).

In the course of my efforts to fix up certain elements of this house that I wasn't into, I've had some wins - painting my daughter's room, securing some maybe-going-to-fall-down ceiling panels, retiling my entryway step, suffocating weeds and replacing them with lavender and blueberry bushes, that sort of thing. But I've also had oh my god, some misses - like, for example, the linoleum kitchen floor that I covered (poorly) in stick-on tile that is MUCH better-suited to small spaces and apparently turns grey with any wear whatsoever.

Another fail: I used that same tile to cover a gross wall in the bathroom. I discovered that its stick-on powers did not extend to use on bathroom walls (or at least not somewhat uneven ones) around 2AM later that night, when I was awoken by the huge "bang" made by twenty tiles all falling off the wall and into my bathtub simultaneously. But was I to be deterred?!

Lifestyle

Brace Yourselves

Claire Zulkey, creator of the only newsletter I never, ever fail to open, Evil Witches, talks to teachers and administrators to get some answers to the questions on every parent's mind (spoiler: There aren't any good ones).

This weekend I had a socially distant backyard BYOB hangout with a middle school teacher friend of mine, and I asked her what she wishes parents knew about return-to-school. She said:

Lifestyle

Some Words For My Pregnant Self

My heart.

When we found out we were expecting our first child nearly nine years ago (!) I was unprepared to the point of near-lunacy. I ended my club-girl partying days approximately one second before we decided to try for a baby, lived in a one-bedroom fourth-story walkup with holes in the floor and an oven that wanted to kill us, and had exactly zero friends with children (in addition to having no siblings or immediate, close-by family members with kids).

The second time around, I was better prepared. I knew to advocate for myself. I knew that PPD was a real thing, and that I was likely to have it. I knew what I needed (diapers) and what I did not (10,000 newborn-sized onesies).

DIARY

Teenage Boys Are The Worst: A Refresher Course

This whole post is basically an ad for my next book

Ohhhhkay, so today? Was one big reminder why I am so super glad I am not a teenage girl anymore. Because teenage boys are the fucking worst. And they're so adorably charming-when-they-want-to-be that you forget! But then you remember. Because they do something that's the fucking worst, and they could have really just HAD A LITTLE FORESIGHT or DISPLAYED A MODICUM OF RESPONSIBILITY, but NOPE.

I have this couch. Or rather my landlord has this couch, and when I moved in he asked if he could leave it in the family room because it was apparently a twelve thousand dollar couch when it was new (!!) and one day he might want to recover it. And I said sure, fine, because a) it wasn't terrible, and b) I'm not in the business of buying anything that I don't absolutely need to buy these days. I had it steam-cleaned when I moved in, and I tried to be okay with it, I swear...but what it came down to was that perhaps it was worth 12 thousand dollars in, oh, I dunno, 1981, but it is now the same age as me and neither of us are quite as sprightly as we were back in the day.

Decor

The Most Calming Living Room I Ever Did See

Our Home Editor, Audrey, takes us on a tour of her gorgeous living room, decorated in calming neutral tones and textures.

Welcome to our living room! While it’s the least-utilized space in our house, it's certainly my favorite from a design perspective. The living room was a huge selling point when we first saw the house back in February of 2019 – I knew there was potential the second I saw the large windows and vaulted ceiling. I also quickly realized that the layout of the room would be tricky.

The living room is long and narrow, with a fireplace in the middle of one wall, a large, arched window in the middle of another, and the entrance to the dining room dominating a third. There was only one wall that could possibly be used for a television, and it took us months to figure out a seating configuration that made sense based on the location of the TV. To make things easier, we chose a television that doubles as art when you aren’t using it. 

During renovations, we did several things to the living room that made it feel more updated and workable: we painted everything white (including the vaulted ceiling beams!), removed all of the track lighting, added 4 wall sconces, laid new hard wood floors, and updated the tile in front of the fireplace. This gave us a fresh start as we started to bring in furniture and décor.

Before & After Renovations

This Preteen’s Bedroom Got A MAJOR Makeover

Before

When I was 9 or so, I decided that I wanted my bedroom to be painted in shades of purple and teal (it was 1990; I have no other excuse for this) - and my parents, to their immense credit, let me actually do it. Which is great! Everyone should have a regrettably painted preteen room; it's a rite of passage.

But another rite of passage is when you age out of that room, and suddenly find yourself wanting something a bit more...peaceful. The teenage years can be rough ones, and I think having your own space to retreat to is an absolute essential. So when my friend Margo's daughter Claire told me that she didn't like her room anymore and wanted something that felt more "her"....

Lifestyle

Let’s Tour A Dream House, Shall We?

My absolute favorite/least favorite thing about my job doing marketing for Malibu's mobile home parks: The fact that I spend every day looking at houses that I would very much like to own, but do not.

Case in point: This house, which actually made me gasp the first time I stepped foot inside. The view! The ridiculously perfect styling! The walk-in closet of my actual dreams!

Learn about the ins and outs of owning a Malibu mobile home here, and click here to see everything that's currently on the market in Paradise Cove and Point Dume Club.

Lifestyle

What It’s Like To Eat Out Right Now, Cheesecake Factory Edition

OK, so going forward I will 1000% be doing my best to spend all my dining-out dollars at smaller, locally-owned establishments, but if you've ever had the bread basket at The Cheesecake Factory, you know why my children (and, okay, me) chose it for our first restaurant meal in...four months? Twenty years? Several decades?

It's been awhile. I was ready for some food that I did not cook myself.

So for this post, let's answer all your burning questions about what a Cheesecake Factory experience is like in Covid Times.