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Anxiety

The Impostor

October 13, 2018

I've given a few talks over the years - at conferences and such. I know how to do it by now; I've (mostly) gotten over my stage fright, and have a bit of a formula going.

I start with the basic bio, make a few self-deprecating jokes about The Actress Years, and talk about what it was like starting a blog-as-business back in the Dark Ages. I tick off a list of experiences that my site has led to - shows, books, etc. It all makes me sound pretty successful, and pretty together, and at least passably like the kind of person who should be giving A Talk.

Decor

The Problem With Perfection

October 11, 2018

The problems with getting to check out this year’s Sunset Magazine Silicon Valley Idea House are the following:

a) It is actually, literally perfect, and the ideal blend of design and function.

b) It makes you want to pack up your current house and move into this one immediately.

DIY

Your Favorite New DIY Scalp Mask

October 9, 2018

I was extremely not into the concept of rubbing oils into my scalp. I mean, wouldn't that make it...oily? I had visions of that time in high school when I tried one of those olive oil/mayonnaise hair masks (mmhmm, sure did) and suffered the consequences for a cool week.

This scalp treatment - which promotes scalp health and hair growth, and also leaves your hair feeling like angel wings - is a whoooole different beast, and you have to try it. My hair has never, ever, ever been this soft (and said softness has been commented on by three separate people who had no very good reason to lie to me, so: corroborated).

DIARY

Tiny Little Things

October 8, 2018

Getting there.

Next to my bed, there is a white nightstand, on top of which sits a glass lamp, a stack of US Weeklys that I'll probably never get around to reading, and a half-empty La Croix can. It's exactly the same assortment of stuff that sat on my nightstand a week ago, with one little difference: the outlets aren't loose, so I don't have to jam the nightstand up against the light plug to hold it into the wall.

It's a tiny thing.

DIARY

Did It

October 5, 2018

I am fairly certain that I lived several lifetimes in the past twenty-four hours. I'm writing this from my living room floor, sitting on a sleeping bag and using an empty cable box as a desk. I just slayed a spider the size of a walnut, and am drinking tap water out of an empty CVS earplug container, because I forgot to bring cups and there is no way I am driving over to Target until I return that damn trailer, because backing up a trailer in a Target parking lot sounds like a bad idea for anyone, and especially someone who just drove seven hours with two furious cats and a comatose dog, and then "slept" (didn't sleep) on a bed-in-a-box mattress on the floor.

Solid parking form.

Anxiety

Pieces Of My Life

October 3, 2018

Skirt | Shoes | Blouse | Sunglasses

Yesterday afternoon, I sat in my lawyer's office with a huge stack of papers in front of me. I signed, flipped. Signed again. Flipped again. I did this until I'd reached the bottom of the stack, then handed them over, and all of a sudden it hit me:

Wait. I asked her. Was that the thing that people in movies are always refusing to sign and crying about? And usually the person crying and not wanting to sign but signing anyway is played by Diane Keaton?

Eat

Oh Dear. It’s Sugar Month.

October 1, 2018

It’s the most wonderful time of the year, according to my children: Sugar Month. Yes yes, Halloween is technically one day, but that little detail appears to have escaped my two sugar monsters, who are under the impression that the second those first leaves fall, it’s all-chocolate, all-the-time. (I blame grocery stores; can we PLEASE put those ten-pound snack-size assortment bags on shelves beyond the reach of a four-year-old? …Please?)

Herein lies the problem: When children know that candy is (allegedly) on the menu, they’re not super interested in anything else, and especially not in coming inside because dinner is ready. No, they’re very, very busy hiding on the front porch with the trick-or-treat buckets that they pulled out of storage sometime in August and filled with pilfered munchies, thinking that Mom doesn’t know what they’re up to. (Spoiler: Mom knows everything.)

Decor

You Need To Know About Lorena Canals’ Washable (!) Rugs

September 28, 2018

Relevant to yesterday's post, here is yet another example of why women (and moms, specifically) are set to just go ahead and run the world: Because we come up with genius inventions not just "because" (or just because our egos need a little stroking; ahem, Elon Musk, love you but dude, the "kid-sized" submarine?)...but because they are needed.

You've heard me whine and whine and whine here for yearrrrrs about my simultaneous love of throw rugs and total rug-related phobias and/or catastrophes. I love the way rugs look; I love the way rugs feel. I do not love that they specialize in attracting dogs that want to pee on them and babies that want to throw up on them, because any rug that lives in my house must be pristine, or the aforementioned phobias come out and I have to sidestep around its borders like a weirdo.

I've bought cowhide rugs. Tossed them. Fluffy rugs. Sacrificed them on the altar of Virgil. Gorgeous woven rugs. Moved them to a "cleaner" spot, then to another, and then gave them away. And now I've landed on a semipermanent solution, using outdoor rugs indoors...except a) that seems wasteful, given that I have to replace them once a season, and b) that still does not solve my sidestepping-around-the-borders-after-a-pee-speck-touches-them problem.

My Looks

Rule The World

September 25, 2018

Zara Two-Piece Jumpsuit; Iro Boots; Cloverpost Earrings

If you've been reading here awhile, you are aware that it takes a LOT to get me dressed, and even more to get me dressed up. If pressed to the extreme by my job requirements or by Francesca, I will, but I won't like it. If, however, I am permitted to wear what amounts to a pair of sparkly pajamas and call it "dressing up," well, then...fine.

Where I wore this particular outfit:

Anxiety

Wide Open Spaces

September 24, 2018

A few days ago I asked you guys for reader questions over on IG and...ahhh...let's just say there was a theme. Some of the questions (where are you going to live? Where's K going to live? How are you all handling the separation?) I simply can't answer now, either because I don't know what the answers are, or because they're just too sensitive to touch.

Something that's been fascinating to me ever since this process started is the sheer volume of women who've written to me, saying that they're in various stages of the separation process, or saying that they feel like they need to separate from their partners, but don't know why, exactly, and definitely don't know how.

How did you know? they ask.

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