Kern River Campground | Bakersfield, California
The first thing my children do when they wake up in the morning - every morning - is ask to watch TV. The answer is virtually always no (except for on the weekends, when the answer is yes, of course; here are some Quentin Tarantino movies and Doritos; go away). But over the course of each and every day it pops up over and over again:
Can I watch Wellie Wishers? No.
For those of you in the NYC area: I wanted to post some information on what Erin and I will be up to next week, in case any of the events sound like something you'd want to come to (which obviously would make me the happiest ever).
Thursday 4/27 at 7PM: Housing Works Panel, "Writers on Pregnancy & Parenting" (Manhattan, N.Y.)
The Big Fat Activity Book For Pregnant People officially comes out next Tuesday (!!!!! dying), and on Thursday at 7pm Erin and I will be appearing at a panel at Housing Works Bookstore & Cafe (a super cool venue, for those of you who haven't been there before). We'll be there with phenomenally successful writers (and generally fascinating women) Emily Gould and Ylonda Gault Caviness to talk about what it's like to be a writer and a mother. I have a feeling it'll be a hell of a discussion, and I'd so love to see you there.
This is so much more delicious than you think it is.
I was at Mollie's house last weekend for a pre-Easter parade lunch, and MAN do she and her husband ever feed us well when we're there. (The dishes generally include a lot of mayo. I am okay with that.) Her husband made deviled eggs that were so delicious that I ended up eating my daughter's leftovers. By which I mean the leftover bites that had actually been in her mouth, and that she had decided needed to come out again. (If you are a parent, you know this is relatively normal and often your best chance of getting to eat anything over the course of the day. If you are not...sorry.) I learned that HoneyBaked Ham isn't just...like, ham baked in honey, but an actual thing that people wait on interminably long lines to buy (and I totally get why because oh my GOD it's so good). And finally, I ate - with considerable reluctance - a broccoli salad.
When faced with a table of deviled eggs and ham (and pumpkin muffins and potato salad and mimosas), my default tactic is to skip the green stuff, lest it take up valuable space in my stomach that could otherwise be dedicated to muffin-consumption. But then I overheard Kendrick saying about Mollie's broccoli salad, "Oh wow, there's bacon in this?" and Mollie said, "Yup!" and okay fiiiiiiiiiiine if I have to, I'll try it. Reluctantly.
This isn't the kind of thing I normally do, but I had so much fun appearing on the Atomic Moms podcast with Ellie Knaus that I thought I'd post the entire episode for you right here, just in case you're interested in hearing the (completely uncensored) truth about my exit from the acting industry, why I think "giving up" isn't always a bad thing, why I was so catastrophically unprepared to become a mother, and more. I've done a handful of podcast appearances over the years, but this one was by far my favorite, because it reminded me that there are few things more interesting than meeting someone who forces you to go both literally and metaphorically off-script.
When we first moved into our house, I did a lot of work on the inside - adding entryway tile, turning a tiny bedroom into an office/playroom, adding lighting, et cetera - but aside from doing some (necessary, thanks to the drought) xeriscaping, I pretty much gave up on the house exterior. It was tan and dusty blue - with an orange-brick "accent wall" - and sure, I figured, I could paint it...but it'd still look like what it was: a more or less personality-free ranch house built in 1969. It's not the kind of house that screams, "Emphasize my architectural details and singular flair!" Because on this house, details and flair are nowhere to be found.
But still, every time I drove up to the house, it bugged me how much I disliked it. So the first thing I did was paint my door pink. This was done pretty poorly, because I did it myself, but at least it helped (a little). Then I decided that the orange brick was the next-worst spot, and my friend Erin helped me do a mortar wash on it. And then, when we had our kitchen done, I was so impressed by how excellent and affordable the painters were that I asked for a quote on painting the house, and: yes. (FYI, in case you're local: I used Proficient Painters. If you click over to their site you'll see pics of this makeover, but that's not because they did the work for a discount or anything - I just liked them a lot, so I gave them pics to use in their gallery.)
What I decided to do: give a sort of nod to the house's 1969 build date with a mod-ish color palette of white, black and pink, and then figure out a few places to add high-impact details.
No-Name Blouse (similar) Destroyed Jeans Who What Wear Slides
Vivienne Westwood Purse Hat Attack Fedora
I'm going to call this look "Re-Emerging From Hibernation." All winter long, you know what I've been wearing? These. In public. The first time I did this my mom looked at me in mild horror and said "...But those are pajamas." Except I never wear them as pajamas, because that might mean they'll be in the laundry and I won't be able to wear them where I really want to wear them, which is everywhere, all the time. Whatever, I'm cold and my muscles have atrophied from lack of use and I've spent the past five months turning a very special shade of pale that is more or less translucent (with attractive red blotches in key spots, like on my face).
There's no friend like a friend who's willing to paint with you.
I was on the phone with Francesca the other day and we were talking about my solar fountain project and my mortar brick project and the park strip redo and the bananacakes and all the other things that you can find on Ramshackle Glam lately in the category of Awesome Things I've Never Done Before, and she said, "Huh. So...you don't really have to come up with ideas for your website anymore. You can just hang out with your friends."
This is true.
Love the look, but methinks the coat is only cute on Gigi.
There are few things more fun than looking at truly terrible interpretations of the latest runway trends. Below, a few of my personal favorite you-probably-should-not-wear-this finds from the new spring arrivals...plus a take on each trend that you might actually be into (just click the "Shop" button under each image to see how I'd wear the look).
OK first: my apologies for the not-so-hot sound in this one. I was sick and all blah and there was construction going on across the street and we accidentally left the camera on autofocus so it makes a little click-click-click sound throughout and excuses excuses excuses I know I know. Sorry.
That said, I had to post this anyway because it's just the coolest-looking effect (the before and after photos are here, if you missed the post earlier this week), and I wanted to show you just how simple it is. And you don't need to coincidentally have ugly support beams in your house - you can use this technique to create anything from an incredible-looking dining room table (like this one) to your own sliding barn door.
MommyNearest says you should buy The Big Fat Activity Book For Pregnant People "the very first day you see a pink line on the pee test." (I have to agree.)
I would like to own this bikini, please. (Free shipping!)
Party goals. (This Little Girl Wanted A Poop-Themed Party, So Her Parents Threw Her One, via HuffPo.)
